E-Mail Marketing is Becoming (Borderline) Harassment.
HOT TAKES!
Controversial, but hey- we’re not new to the e-mail game.
We’re not even very new to Substack, but HOLY, was I not expecting the flood of droth that would blow up our inboxes.
It’s a tough thing, I want to support other writers and business owners- but I also cannot bring myself to handle sometimes MULTI-TIMES-A-DAY marketing efforts.
I want to subscribe and support your newsletter. But not at the expense of my own sanity.
The dang inbox turns into a digital hostage situation. Some brand (or human) won’t leave you alone. First, there’s the confirmation email. Fair enough. Then comes the “Welcome to the family!” email. Wait, what family? We didn’t sign up for this. We already have one of those. By the end of the week, you’re drowning in “exclusive offers,” “last chance” deals (that somehow never actually expire), and the ever-persistent “We miss you!” messages—like some desperate ex who just can’t take a hint.
E-mail marketing was supposed to be a way for businesses to stay connected with customers, provide value, and maybe—maybe—gently remind us of their existence. But in reality, it’s become an onslaught of spam, guilt-tripping, and borderline, well, friggin harassment. The modern inbox isn’t a place for communication anymore; it’s a battlefield, where brands fight for your attention with increasingly aggressive tactics.
So, where did it all go wrong?
Probably the psychological tricks and tactics marketers use to keep you engaged, and why businesses are actually hurting themselves by refusing to chill out.
If your can’t already tell, We here at Unprofessional are NOT, professional marketers.
You’re welcome.
The Invasion of the Inbox
Once upon a time, (like a long, long long time ago- getting an email was exciting. It meant a message from a friend, a work update, or maybe even something important. Maybe even a friendly letter.
What changed?
PROFIT.
Companies have mastered the art of inbox domination.
While you could unsubscribe, that’s often easier said than done. Some brands make you log in (which you forgot how to do), others send you to a “preference center” where you have to manually uncheck a dozen different email lists. And even when you finally unsubscribe, the emails sometimes keep coming—as if the company is saying, “Oh, you thought you were done with us? Cute.”
The worst part? This constant bombardment has trained people to ignore emails entirely. Instead of reading, we skim. Instead of engaging, we delete. And instead of feeling connected to brands, we feel annoyed by them. E-mail marketing, in its desperate attempt to be seen, has made itself invisible.
This is a problem for people like me- trying to actually not waste your time….
The Desperate Tactics
If e-mail marketing had a personality, it would be that one clingy friend who just can’t take a hint.
“It’s been a while since we’ve seen you!”
Find me and slap me if I ever lead with that.
Never mind that you bought one random item six months ago and had no intention of becoming a lifelong customer.
Then there’s the fake urgency:
—a tactic so overused it’s almost laughable. “HURRY!” If you ignore it, you’ll probably get the same offer (or a better one) next week. These emails prey on your fear of missing out, trying to convince you that right now is your last chance—when in reality, the “deal” is about as exclusive as, well, their ability to write something engaging at all.
The guilt-trip approach:
Brands try to manipulate you into feeling bad for not clicking. The absolute worst? The ones that act like they’re being ghosted in a relationship. “Did we do something wrong?” one subject line will ask. Another might say, “You left something in your cart…was it something we said?” No, you didn’t say anything—I just changed my mind about that $200 air fryer.
Instead of building genuine connections, brands have turned e-mail marketing into a psychological game, one where they’re constantly trying to trick you into engagement. But here’s the truth: nobody likes feeling manipulated. And the more brands lean on these tactics, the more people start to tune them out.
“Personalization” Feels Like Stalking
Once upon a time, personalization in marketing meant something simple—maybe a friendly “Hey [Your Name]!” at the top of an email. Cute. Harmless. But now? It’s gotten friggin weird.
I don’t know your first name.
I do not want to force my computer to [insert] your first name into the top of this newsletter.
Personal preference. But if you hate it too- high five from us holmes.
Brands are watching. They know what you click on, how long you linger on a product page, and whether you hovered over that “Add to Cart” button for just a little too long. And the second you show the slightest interest in something? Boom—your inbox is hit with an eerily well-timed email:
“Still thinking about subscribing?”
No, but thanks for the reminder.
Even worse, some brands take personalization to a new level of discomfort by integrating cross-platform tracking. Ever browse a product on your laptop only to get an email about it minutes later on your phone? Or mention something out loud, and suddenly it’s in your inbox?
They listen and watch. Nerds.
The result? Instead of feeling valued, consumers feel watched. Personalization is supposed to make marketing more relevant, but when it crosses into hyper-targeted stalking, it does the exact opposite—it makes people uncomfortable. Because let’s be real: No one likes the feeling of being followed.
The Dark Side: Buying and Selling Your Data
If you’ve ever wondered why you’re suddenly getting marketing emails from a brand you never interacted with, congratulations—you’re experiencing the shady underworld of data brokering.
Here’s how it works: The second you hand over your email (whether it’s for a “10% off your first order” coupon or because you just wanted to track a package), that data doesn’t just stay with the company. It gets shared. Sometimes it’s passed along to “partners” (a vague term that basically means “whoever’s willing to pay for it”), and sometimes it’s straight-up sold to third-party data brokers who package and resell your information like a hot commodity.
The result? Your inbox fills up with emails from brands you don’t even recognize. You didn’t sign up for their list, and yet, here they are, acting like an old friend. “Welcome! Here’s 15% off!” Welcome to what, exactly? I don’t even know who you are.
Even when you unsubscribe, the problem doesn’t necessarily stop. Your email is often still floating around in multiple databases, which means another company—one you’ve never interacted with—might pop up next. And thanks to legal loopholes, some companies use sneaky tactics to keep contacting you anyway, either by re-adding you under a different category or by conveniently ignoring your request.
I’m not suggesting that the typical Substacker is doing this with their newsletter.
But I’m not suggesting some people are not doing that.
And yet, because it’s so profitable, companies and individuals have little incentive to stop. So while consumers are busy fighting for inbox sanity, businesses are busy figuring out new ways to keep the harassment going.
The Irony: Why This Actually Hurts Brands
For all the effort put into e-mail marketing—crafting catchy subject lines, A/B testing different CTA buttons, and tracking every click like a hawk—you’d think people would realize something by now: most people aren’t actually reading their emails.
The overuse of e-mail marketing hasn’t built brand loyalty; it’s built resentment. Instead of engaging customers, it’s trained them to ignore, delete, or—worse—mark emails as spam. And once that happens, it’s game over. Email providers like Gmail and Outlook start auto-filtering those messages into the abyss, where they’ll never be seen again.
Consumers have adapted. They use burner emails just to snag that first-time discount, then abandon the account forever. They create email filters that automatically send marketing messages to a folder they’ll never check.
But perhaps the biggest irony? The brands that email less actually have more impact. When a company sends occasional, well-timed, genuinely useful emails, people are far more likely to open and engage. Compare that to brands that send daily promotions—those get ignored so often that, eventually, people forget they even exist.
So here’s a radical idea:
Instead of harassing inboxes, brands should focus on making emails worth reading—fewer messages, better content, and actual respect for their customers’ attention. Because in the end, the brands that stop screaming might just be the ones that actually get heard.
Let’s All Take a Step Back
E-mail marketing didn’t have to become this bad. It started as a simple way for brands to stay in touch, offer value, and keep customers engaged.
People aren’t feeling connected to brands; they’re feeling hunted by them. And instead of driving sales, aggressive e-mail marketing is pushing customers to unsubscribe, block, and avoid engagement entirely.
Solutions are Simple: stop treating email like a numbers game and start treating customers like humans. Send fewer emails. Make them actually valuable. Respect people’s inboxes instead of barging in like an uninvited guest who won’t take the hint. Because at the end of the day, the best marketing doesn’t feel like marketing at all.
If you are still here, I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to give me a chance at failing to entertain you. If you like it, all I ask is that you GIVE ME YOUR PERSONAL INFO. So I can Spam you - (kidding).
Even if you don’t want e-mails from me- you should subscribe anyway because it helps me reach more beautiful humans like you.
But if you’d like this kind of information delivered to you personally in your inbox at a time that is totally inconvenient for you, but absolutely convenient for me, Subscribe and I’ll make your life a living nightmare.
Always,
-Unprofessional
Hey, Speaking of Terrible E-Mail Marketing Tactics-
Do lead people in your organization?
Chances are, You SUcK at it!
So go check out our other Publication;
BAD LEADERS.
It’s great.
Okay seeya.